Managing Social Anxiety as a Neurodivergent Person

Social anxiety can feel overwhelming, especially for neurodivergent individuals. Whether it’s attending a meeting, going to a party, or simply having a conversation, the pressure to “perform” socially can trigger anxiety. Fortunately, there are evidence-based strategies to help you navigate social situations with more confidence.

Use Gradual Exposure

Gradual exposure helps reduce anxiety over time. Start by engaging in low-pressure social situations. For example, say hello to a coworker or attend a small gathering. Gradually increase the complexity and intensity of your social interactions. Research shows that repeated exposure can desensitize the brain to anxiety triggers, making it easier to cope in future situations.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay grounded in stressful situations. When social anxiety spikes, focus on your breathing or engage in a grounding exercise, such as the “5-4-3-2-1” method. This technique encourages you to notice five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. Studies show mindfulness can reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Social anxiety often comes from negative thoughts, like “I’ll embarrass myself” or “They’ll judge me.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) encourages you to challenge these thoughts. Instead, ask yourself, “What’s the evidence for this belief?” or “What’s a more balanced perspective?” Research supports CBT as one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety.

Prepare Ahead of Time

Preparation can reduce anxiety. Before entering a social situation, think about conversation starters or topics you enjoy discussing. Knowing what you want to say can help you feel more at ease. For example, you might plan to ask a colleague about their weekend or talk about a shared hobby. Practicing conversations ahead of time can boost confidence.

Set Realistic Expectations

Perfection isn’t the goal. Remind yourself that it’s okay if a conversation isn’t perfect or if you feel awkward. Focus on progress, not perfection. Studies show that setting small, realistic goals helps lower anxiety and increases motivation to engage in social situations.

Use Body Doubling

Sometimes, it helps to have a trusted friend or accountability partner with you. This concept, called “body doubling,” can reduce feelings of isolation and help you feel supported. Having a familiar person nearby can make new or anxiety-inducing social environments feel safer.

Utilize Deep Breathing Techniques

Deep breathing techniques can help calm your nervous system. Before and during social interactions, practice deep breathing by inhaling for 5 counts, and exhaling for seven. Research shows this method activates the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing the body’s stress response.

Reward Yourself Afterward

Social situations can be draining. After each interaction, take time to reward yourself. Whether it’s a favorite snack, a relaxing bath, or watching your favorite show, giving yourself positive reinforcement helps create a more positive association with socializing. Studies show that positive reinforcement strengthens new habits and behaviors.

These strategies can help you manage social anxiety and approach social situations with more confidence. Remember, progress takes time. Be patient with yourself as you practice these tools.